Sunday, September 21, 2008

The Comforts of Home

I'm in love with live music. This week alone, I've seen Arcade Fire, Erykah Badu, and Los Lonely Boys. And I've finally discovered my favorite venue. My living room. Seriously.

I've seen them all without shelling out a single penny for a cover charge or a brewskie. I've seen them all in high def, which is more clear than if I were standing in a smokey bar. I've seen them all without standing on my tippie-toes. I've seen them all without standing, period. I've seen them all without being shoved by a drunk, smelly hippie. I've seen them all at a volume that I find comfortable and doesn't leave my ears bleeding. I've seen them all and have still gotten into bed no later than 11:00 p.m. every night.

And there's plenty more to see On Demand. Whenever I so desire. Today I might see Beck. Or The Who. Or the Wu-Tang Clan. How will I ever decide?

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Spawn of Satan

When Brad and Maeve asked me to come help them weed, I had no idea what I would be getting myself into. I pictured sitting on the ground with one of those weeder-thinger-ma-bobs I used to use to help mom in the garden when I was younger. The weeds in Brad and Maeve's yard are no match for a mere weeder-thinger-ma-bob.We were up against weeds as tall as me, complete with really sharp thorns. Weeds that are the spawn of Satan. I was given a left-handed glove with holes in the fingers, and a right-handed heavy-duty work glove that I was instructed not to get muddy. We had to grab on, pull, tug, yank, and if the weed still wouldn't come out of the ground, start rooting around with the weeder-thinger-ma-bob.
If I'd known this is what I'd been dealing with, I would have worn full leathers. I mean, there were thorns in the gloves, in my sleeves, in my shoes. My left nostril was chock-full of pollen. There was even a point where I was bent over, rooting and tugging, and when the weed finally gave, I fell flat on my ass. But I managed not to get the work glove muddy.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining. I just found the whole situation funny. And if Brad and Maeve need help again, I'll do it. I'll wear thicker clothes and bring my own gloves. I'll pull weeds. Especially if there's some Crown Burger and an orange Fanta in it for me.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Ham: Meal 4

Fried Rice with Ham
Fine. You got me. I used a fork. I'm retarded with chopsticks. Its true. I'll admit it.

The Legacy MIRACLE

I have my Mary Kay Success Meetings in Kaysville at 6:30 on Tuesdays. I usually leave The SLC at 5:15 to get there on time. If you've never been on I-15 at that time of day, you should know that traffic leaving downtown heading into Davis County is a b*@#h. Last night, my MK girlfriends and I met for our carpool as per usual, not really thinking about the fact that the new Legacy Highway opened on Saturday. We got to Bountiful without slowing down once. We were so happy. We got to Farmington, still doing above freeway speeds. We couldn't believe it. The freeway was almost a ghost town! We got to Kaysville 45 minutes early. Shut the front door! The Legacy Highway is my new best friend. For reals.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

On My Lonesome

Dave noticed that I listed the number of wake-ups until he gets home (currently 8) when I made the omelet, but he was shocked that I didn't explain where he is.

OK, OK. Maybe not shocked. Probably more like curious as to why not.

Well, he's in South Carolina. Not the glamorous beachy part. The inside of South Carolina. Specifically, Spartanburg. I'll spare you all of the details, but you see, Dave's mom was in need of some physical therapy to rebuild her lower body strength and quite literally get her back on her feet, and since Dave is a physical therapist... Do you see where I'm going with this?

As I explained it to Sarah, Dave went to his parent's house for a few weeks to walk his mom. He'll be back soon.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Ham: Meal 3

Ham and Potato Casserole
This recipe was soooo sinfully simple and soooo devilishly delicious and decadent, that I'm going to put it directly into the naughty category. No ifs, ands, or buts.

Well, on second thought, some butt might be inevitable.

Actually, It IS My First Rodeo

I went with some dear friends to the Utah State Fair last night. Turns out cows are much larger than they look from the highway. I was a little afraid standing near them. And while the deep-fried PB&J was warm and gooey and everything I could have hoped for, my first rodeo experience was not. In fact, I found it to be a bit shocking and disturbing. Here are a few of the things that you probably already know about the rodeo that shocked and disturbed me:
  • Parents put their children, as young as TWO-years-old, onto the back of a sheep and encourage them to hold on for dear life while the sheep hauls ass out of a pen. The child inevitably falls off and slams into the ground. They call this "mutten busting," but I'm pretty sure the only thing that ends up busted is the child.
  • Bull riding. Just in general. Shocking and disturbing. Did you know that in order to get the bull to thrash around like that, they tie a rope around the parts that make it male? I'd be pissed off and try to gore you with my horns, too. Plus, it looks terrifying to be the dude that tries to hold on for 8 seconds. I spent this entire event suffering from an anxiety attack.
  • The rodeo clown was neither funny nor entertaining. But he was Canadian. That's not really disturbing. I was just surprised by it.
  • The announcer dude announced into his microphone to the whole arena, "We need an EMT in shoot 5, pronto. Looks like a lower extremity wound." Um. Can you say HIPAA violation?
  • This mother was pulling her baby through the throng of exiting "rowdies" in a wagon. As Nate pointed out, a stroller might have been a bit too ostentatious. The thing that shocked and disturbed me was that she slowed down to have a kicking fight with her daughter. They were giggling and having fun - nothing to report to DCFS - but come on, lady, we're all trying to get out of here in a timely, organized manner. Stay focused.
I'll admit, the barrel racing (I think that's what its called - the one where the babes ride their horses really fast in tight circles around three barrels) was really cool to see. But as for an overall rodeo, I think I've had my fill for this lifetime.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Ham: Meal 2

Ham and Cheese Omelet

P.S. Believe it or not, this is my first attempt at an omelet. I'd say I did a good job.

P.P.S. 17 wake-ups until Dave comes home. Not that I'm counting.

Friday, September 5, 2008

Ham: Day 1

Potato Soup with Cubed Ham and Little Sourdough Breadlettes

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Winner Winner Ham Dinner

I like turkey slices. Sometimes on a sandwich. Sometimes rolled up with a slice of white american cheese, also known as a "turkey doobie" thanks to Doug Heffernan.

My turkey of choice is Boarshead Oven Gold. Smith's has been running a promotion with Boarshead lately and every time I bought some turkey, they made me enter this raffle. Today, they called me to tell me I WON! Oh my god! "What did I win?" I asked. "A hat and a ham, I think," was the answer.

I went to pick it up and it was true - I won a hat, a ham, and some glaze, in this lovely display box...
The presentation was a lot better when it was one whole ham. But I had to have them slice it so I could freeze it. I got more sandwich-sized slices than I can possibly eat, and a ton of thick slices for cubing. The girl at the deli suggested au gratin potatoes with ham. I think I'll try to recreate the alfredo from Este. And I'm open to suggestions for the rest...

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Baby's First Walk

Remember how a year ago I ran a half marathon? I'm not entirely sure what happened, but I became incredibly, unbelievably, embarrassingly lazy after that. Hardly a workout. It got to the point where, a couple of weeks ago, when Dave and I hiked the Albion Basin Trail, I became incredibly, unbelievably, embarrassingly nauseous. I mean, come on.

So I decided I would work walking and yoga into my weekly plan for my new life. This morning I went over to Sugarhouse Park for a couple of laps. I was quickly and surprisingly (or maybe just quickly) out of breath. But, after two days of rain, rain, rain, the park was sunny and beautiful and peaceful and quiet. And they even provide you with this word of encouragement:

Monday, September 1, 2008

Wowsie Wowsie Woo

Rainy days and Sundays always get me down. Or maybe its just the rainy Sunday that Dave leaves for three and a half weeks. Yesterday was a total waste. I thought a good rival to the rain (and issues of abandonment) would be a rousing game of Mexican Train Dominoes, so I invited the girls over and made a pitcher of margaritas, but that ended up totally falling through. So instead of finding something else to do, I moped. I ate crappy food, watched crappy tv, drank the afore mentioned margaritas, and became totally addicted to Collapse (high score: 11158).

I did manage to end on a high note - I enjoyed the thunder, lightening, pouring rain, and cool temperature snuggled under a big blankie and watching Talk to Me, about 1960s radio DJ Petey Greene. It was really, really good! I highly recommend it.

I went to bed feeling like I was going to wake up energized and ready to take September by storm. But that didn't work out so well. Its 6:00 p.m. and I'm still in my jammies. My hair is still gross. And there's an America's Next Top Model marathon on. Shit. I guess I'm done for the day. I did vacuum my entire one-bedroom condo, in an attempt to not feel like a complete waste.

Before Dave left, he did remind me that Monday is a holiday, so technically I don't have to start kicking ass until Tuesday. Well, Tuesday, brace yourself. I'm coming for you.