Friday, April 25, 2008

The Dream Brought on by Eaters Remorse

So, I'm back at the W.W. Not in my dream, but in real life. I knew it was time when I reached my original weight watchers starting weight and was down to two shirts and one skirt that fit. But yesterday I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and had an awful day and let me emotions drive right through the Burger King Drive Through. Then I drank a couple of beers after kickball. Then I had an ice cream sandwich for a bedtime snack.

Then I dreamt that I had had surgery. Not like a gastric bypass, but ...well, I don't know what. In my dream I was in a lot of pain because I had all of these little 1-2 inch incisions on my stomach and legs, where they were sucking out the fat, presumably. Anyway, I was wearing normal clothes - like jeans. And the jeans were rubbing on my incisions. And it hurt.

Moral of the story is: Although a BK TenderCrisp sandwich is delicious, it is not worth the pain and suffering.

But the beer is.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Reason to Love Rana #8675309

For those of you who may be unfamiliar, goodreads.com is a myspace-ish networking website for book nerds. Unless your Rana. Most of my friends on goodreads have like 100 books and a few friends. Not Rana. Rana has 0 books and 5 friends. Rana doesn't even need to think of a book to be awesome on goodreads. Rana is just plain awesome. End of story.

Friday, April 4, 2008

I Know This Church Is True

And I say these things in the name of Snoop D-O-Double-Gizzle. Amen.

Rapper Snoop Dogg converts to Mormonism
By Aaron Nichols
CNN

DIAMOND BAR, California (AP) -- In what some may consider an unexpected move, rap artist "Snoop Dogg" has reportedly converted to Mormonism after nearly a year of study with the fast-growing, Utah-based faith.

Snoop Dogg says he "can't get enough of the Book of Mormon."

In a statement, a spokeswoman for Snoop Dogg -- whose real name is Calvin Broadus -- said he considers himself extremely fortunate to have discovered such a deep sense of spiritual fulfillment at this stage in his life.

“Mr. Broadus is also very pleased to find that his family is as enthusiastic about attending church services as he is,” the spokeswoman said.

However, Snoop Dogg has not been enthusiastic about publicly sharing his experience and declined to be interviewed by CNN for this article. In fact, he reportedly informed producers of his E! reality show "Snoop Dogg's Father Hood" that this particular aspect of his family's life was off-limits to the cameras. Still, he left open the possibility of addressing the subject in future episodes.

According to the Associated Press, Snoop Dogg was first introduced to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, as the Mormon Church is officially known, after attending a Gladys Knight concert in an LDS meeting house in Los Angeles.

Knight, who very publicly discusses her conversion to Mormonism several years ago, invited Snoop Dogg to what is known to the Mormon faithful as “Family Home Evening,” a church program that encourages families to set aside Monday evenings for gospel-centered lessons and family togetherness.

Though Snoop Dogg has been hesitant to publicly discuss his recent spiritual journey, he commented on the experience of attending his first “Family Home Evening” in a recent interview with People Magazine.

“I was hooked from the start,” Snoop Dogg said. “We talked about the purpose of life, played Mousetrap, and ate brownies. The kids thought it was off the hook, for real.”

In what Snoop Dogg now thinks was anything but a coincidence, Mormon missionaries had knocked on his door just one week before the Knight concert. He said he had initially turned them away because of what he knew about the strict Mormon health code, which prohibits members from smoking, drinking alcohol, and using drugs.

“Y’all know me,” he said grinning broadly. “There were just certain things the old me -- the "natural man" -- needed to do. And these young guys are telling me that God’s not down with disrespecting ourselves. But it’s cool now.”

Snoop Dogg said his conversion marks the end of his old life, one that included frequent run-ins with the law. Snoop Dogg was convicted in 1990 of cocaine possession and charged with gun possession after a 1993 traffic stop. In 1997, he pleaded guilty in exchange for a lighter sentence.

In 1996, Snoop Dogg was acquitted of murder after a purported gangbanger was killed by gunfire from the vehicle in which Snoop Dogg was traveling.

Snoop Dogg dismisses critics who claim his conversion is intended to placate a Salt Lake County judge, before whom he is appealing an alleged probation violation.

“Listen, the haters will say what they will,” Snoop Dogg said. “I can only do what I feel is right.”