Friday, June 19, 2009


I think when you smile like this in your mugshot, it makes you even scarier.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009


It all started with this egg. I dropped it.

I dropped it right on the edge of the kitchen mat. I guess there could be worse places to drop an egg. At least this way I could fold the mat like a taco and pour the egg into the sink. I almost made it to the sink. Almost. At the end of my approach, about four feet from the floor, the stupid yolk just rolled on off the mat and splattered.

Dammit. I hate cleaning.

I dealt with that situation, finished up with my cookie dough, and searched high and low for the cookie sheet. In the drawer under the oven... In the cabinet with the pots and pans... In the dishwasher... (Dave wouldn't put the cookie sheet in the dishwasher, would he?) Then it occurred to me, I had been pre-heating the oven and it smelled like something was cooking. The day before yesterday, we used the cookie sheet to make asparagus. I bet the cookie sheet never got cleaned, and is pre-heating in the oven. So I washed a 375 degree cookie sheet with a brush and a potholder.

Fast forward a couple of hours. Our marketing event at the training center was fun. The cookies were a big hit. Crystal sent me home with two leftover pizzas and a 2-liter of root beer. I went outside into a torrential downpour. I stepped off the sidewalk and the water in the parking lot rushed over the top of my shoes and filled them with water. Delicious.

I got home about 20 minutes later, after having blown my feet dry with the heater, and was lugging my two bags, two pizzas, 2-liter of root beer, and empty cookie platter up the stairs when I tripped. I fell. Luckily I was far enough up the stairs for the pizzas and platter to land on the top step without much turmoil. The root beer rolled across the porch. I hit my forearms on the concrete stairs. I laid there hoping Dave heard me and would come out and help me up. Then I wondered if I really wanted Dave to see me lying on the stairs. So I started getting up just as Dave came out to see what the ruckus was about. Great. Best of both worlds.

The worst must be over, right? I am in jammies, after all.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Babies! For Real This Time!

Remember the baby ducks I saw in my backyard? And how I thought they were gone forever? I was on my morning walk the other morning, and happened upon the whole family! Look how cute and fuzzy they are!Daddy duck even came out for this stroll, although he was none too happy with me, and kept his distance. Whatever.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Road Rage

Dear Other Drivers on the Freeway,

We're all in a hurry, right? But if you could just back off a little bit, I would greatly appreciate it. I don't know if you realize this, but I can only go as fast as the car in front of me. And I'm not totally convinced that putting my front bumper into their trunk is going to encourage them, or anyone in front of them, to speed up. I know it doesn't work on me. I mean, when you come right up behind me and ride my ass, I'm actually inclined to slow down even more. Reason being, I like to provide myself (and you, if I have to) with some reaction time, so that if something unfortunate does happen, I don't literally put my front bumper into someone's trunk. I've been on the receiving end of that ordeal, and it really wasn't cool.

On top of that, if I am going too slow for you, may I point out that there are at least two more lanes to the left of us in which you can pass me. So feel free to change lanes before you get dangerously close to me, and then go ahead and rush by. I'm cool with that.

Thank you,

Thursday, June 4, 2009


A couple of weeks ago I was heading down to Draper to make a delivery. I had to get off at the 14600 South exit. As I was exiting the freeway, I noticed a whole bunch of paragliders. I knew they jumped off the mountain down there, but I didn't realize that like 20 of them went at once. I don't get down that way very often.
As I was getting to my customers house, I realized how close she lives to the top of the paragliding mountain.Then I realized that I could go into the neighborhood across the street from her neighborhood and be right underneath of them.
Part of the sky was blue. Part of the sky was gray. The sun was getting ready to go down and was bouncing off their parachute thingers in the most beautiful way. It was amazing.Who knew paragliding could be so gorgeous and mesmerizing?

For the record, this did not make me want to try paragliding. But I'd watch it again.