What's Making Me Smile

I got this thing in the mail from Select Health. They're doing dental insurance now. They're also doing a photo contest and they're giving away prizes each week. I love prizes, so I though, "What the heck. I'll enter." The theme is "What Makes You Smile?" and in light of this beautiful weather and dreams of walking on the beach, I picked this photo. Pretty please go here and vote for it as your favorite! You can vote once per day. And then something good will happen to you because, you know, karma.

My Life as a Laborer

My friend Alicia was recently telling me that she and her husband wanted to get their garage painted. She said that her husband had found these "laborers" who were willing to work for a case of beer. I suggested that anyone willing to work for a case of beer, current friends excluded, could be a little bit questionable. I jokingly threw out an "I'll paint your garage."

Well, half-jokingly.

Well, not at all jokingly.

A couple of days after that conversation, Alicia called and said, "How serious were you about painting our garage? We'll pay you. Money, not beer." So I spent today with Alicia, working hard for my money. She and her husband watched at first. I taped. I edged. Then we all worked together to roll. Garages are big, and garage ceilings have lots of lights and plugs and garage door contraptions that you have to edge around while standing on a ladder with your head tilted back and your arm straight up. It was fairly exhausting. I mean, its 7:57 right now, and bedtime can't come fast enough.

But you know what? I enjoy painting. I would totally do it again next weekend. You know, if you have a room that needs painting.* Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

*Compensation negotiable. :)

No Sleep For Me

[Spoiler Alert: Stop reading this post if you DVRed "Two and a Half Men" and you prefer not to know the general gist before watching it.]

Dave and I were watching tonight's "Two and a Half Men." Alan was teaching himself to talk like a ventriloquist and he had this uber creepy dummy he named Danny. He and Danny were always wearing the same outfit. Which was funny. For a second. Danny was threatening to kill Charlie. Which was creepy. It was by far the creepiest "Two and a Half Men" I've ever seen. I even told Dave I was concerned about my quality of sleep tonight because Danny was so terrifying.

Funny guy that Dave is...about an hour later my phone beeps letting me know I have an email. Dave excitedly was like, "Someone emailed you! Who emailed you?" He does that everytime my phone beeps, so I didn't really think anything of it. I popped open my email and there's a message from him with the subject line, "SEE YOU TONIGHT!" I was like, "You emailed me!" I opened the email and screamed when I saw this photo:Oh my god! I mean, for real! Look how scary it is. And its limbs are all twisted and disgusting. Dave assures me that this is the least creepy photo he found. I cringed as he described the close-up photos of the dummy heads. I squirmed as he asked, "I wonder what it would feel like to be gnawed at with those wooden teeth."

I wonder if I'll ever sleep again.

Babies in My Backyard

On Friday, a mama duck and 10 baby ducks walked past our deck. At first I was paralyzed by cuteness. Then I wanted a picture of them. But then I realized my camera battery was dead. So I thought about using my phone, but I knew my phone wouldn't do those babies justice. I plugged in my camera and went to bed, confident that the babies would be back tomorrow. I've been watching and praying all weekend, but all I got are these guys. Fine then.

Rock Bottom

I've always been one of those people who believes that Walmart is the evil empire. One day Dave suggested trying our grocery shopping there, and since he buys the groceries, I figured I didn't have a lot of room to argue. Turns out, the commercials are true - their prices really are unbeatable.

The other day I stopped on my way home to pick up razors and ice cream. I was on my way from the razor aisle to ice cream aisle, and passed the purse department. In a moment of major weakness, I veered in. You see, I got this awesome purple hobo from Brad and Maeve for Christmas, but the inside zipper pocket has since developed a hole situation, and anything you put in there ends up under the lining in the depths of the bag. So I've been thinking about looking for a new bag anyway, but with limited financial resources, I haven't been sure where to look.

Remember Walmart's unbeatable prices? I actually saw a bag I really liked. Oh god. Its mustard colored with pink lining and silver accents. It has two compartments, big enough for even my calendar and some file folders. It has two inside zipper pockets. And I love an organized bag. The straps are long enough that I can toss it over my shoulder without it getting hung up on my elbow. Its cute! And only $15!

But then it hit me. "Jessica Leigh! You are looking at purses at Walmart! Walmart is ghetto. This must be what rock bottom feels like."

I'm not too much of an impulse shopper anyway. I see something I think I like, I try it out, I hem and haw, I go home and sleep on it. If I'm still thinking about it the next day, I consider going back to buy it.

In the case of the Walmart purse, I was still thinking about it two days later. So I told myself that if I sold at least $100 at my Saturday skin care class, I could go back and buy it. As luck would have it, I sold almost twice my appointed goal. And as double luck would have it, when I got back to Walmart, the purse was marked down to $10.

The point is, if you see me walking around with a fab mustard-colored hobo bag, yes, I bought it at Walmart, and no, I don't want to talk about.

Thank You, Kate Gosselin

There are cows near my j.o.b. The other day I noticed there are babies. Baby cows are so dang cute!!

But they got me wondering. Is it ok to think those baby cows are so dang cute, even though I don't feel remotely bad about the fact that I will likely meet them again someday...at Crown Burger.

That very night I was watching Jon & Kate Plus 8. The Gosselins were going to visit an organic farm. They took a tractor ride all around the farm, fed the chickens, and visited the cows. Kate was soooo excited about the baby cows and was going on and on about how cute they are.

Then she bought half a cow to take home and stick in their freezer. I felt so validated.

Freeway

I la-la-la love spring driving. Love. I feel very zen on the freeway with all of my windows down, wind whipping my hair in all directions, sun kissing my skin through the open sun roof, Pat Benatar's "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" blaring. Two days in a row. Its fantastic.