No Sleep For Me

[Spoiler Alert: Stop reading this post if you DVRed "Two and a Half Men" and you prefer not to know the general gist before watching it.]

Dave and I were watching tonight's "Two and a Half Men." Alan was teaching himself to talk like a ventriloquist and he had this uber creepy dummy he named Danny. He and Danny were always wearing the same outfit. Which was funny. For a second. Danny was threatening to kill Charlie. Which was creepy. It was by far the creepiest "Two and a Half Men" I've ever seen. I even told Dave I was concerned about my quality of sleep tonight because Danny was so terrifying.

Funny guy that Dave is...about an hour later my phone beeps letting me know I have an email. Dave excitedly was like, "Someone emailed you! Who emailed you?" He does that everytime my phone beeps, so I didn't really think anything of it. I popped open my email and there's a message from him with the subject line, "SEE YOU TONIGHT!" I was like, "You emailed me!" I opened the email and screamed when I saw this photo:Oh my god! I mean, for real! Look how scary it is. And its limbs are all twisted and disgusting. Dave assures me that this is the least creepy photo he found. I cringed as he described the close-up photos of the dummy heads. I squirmed as he asked, "I wonder what it would feel like to be gnawed at with those wooden teeth."

I wonder if I'll ever sleep again.