Sunday, June 15, 2008

A Letter to the Parents Who Think it is Socially Acceptable to Take Their Children to see Iron Man

Dear Parents,

I don't mean to be a Complainy McWhinerson, but why do you bring your children to movies? I love children. Everyone who knows me knows that. But I prefer them not at movies.

I mean, Iron Man is loud and action packed. Babies might not like the loudness. In fact, it might make them cry. And then you have to walk back and forth in front of everyone. And that's just not very polite.

And if your children are of talking age, but the things they continue to say throughout the entire movie consist of, "what's that mean?" and "what's happening now?" and "is he dead?" then they might not be old enough to handle a movie like Iron Man.

I'm just saying. There are probably plenty of teen-aged girls in this valley who would be willing to babysit for a few hours for not a lot of money. And netflix is pretty affordable, if you insist on watching movies with your kidlettes. Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, I'm nearly positive that the Larry H. Miller theaters have specific movie times when you can bring your kids with you. Maybe try that. I would be so grateful.

Appreciatively,
Jessica

1 comment:

Travis said...

Hear hear! I think Larry H Miller movie theaters should secretly put birth control in their popcorn. Do you have any idea what kind of reduction in population we would see??? But that's a whole other story.

Here's my open letter, hope you don't mind me jumping on the bandwagon.

Dear, really fat guy who takes advantage of the unlimited refills of popcorn during the movie. Don't sit in the middle of the damn row if you plan on getting up 5 times during the movie to get keep stuffing your face!! Do you have any idea what it's like to actually have to turn your head to avoid facial contact with the back of your humongous butt??? Ewww. Seriously, EWWWWWWWW.