Actually, It IS My First Rodeo

I went with some dear friends to the Utah State Fair last night. Turns out cows are much larger than they look from the highway. I was a little afraid standing near them. And while the deep-fried PB&J was warm and gooey and everything I could have hoped for, my first rodeo experience was not. In fact, I found it to be a bit shocking and disturbing. Here are a few of the things that you probably already know about the rodeo that shocked and disturbed me:

• Parents put their children, as young as TWO-years-old, onto the back of a sheep and encourage them to hold on for dear life while the sheep hauls ass out of a pen. The child inevitably falls off and slams into the ground. They call this "mutten busting," but I'm pretty sure the only thing that ends up busted is the child.
• Bull riding. Just in general. Shocking and disturbing. Did you know that in order to get the bull to thrash around like that, they tie a rope around the parts that make it male? I'd be pissed off and try to gore you with my horns, too. Plus, it looks terrifying to be the dude that tries to hold on for 8 seconds. I spent this entire event suffering from an anxiety attack.
• The rodeo clown was neither funny nor entertaining. But he was Canadian. That's not really disturbing. I was just surprised by it.
• The announcer dude announced into his microphone to the whole arena, "We need an EMT in shoot 5, pronto. Looks like a lower extremity wound." Um. Can you say HIPAA violation?
• This mother was pulling her baby through the throng of exiting "rowdies" in a wagon. As Nate pointed out, a stroller might have been a bit too ostentatious. The thing that shocked and disturbed me was that she slowed down to have a kicking fight with her daughter. They were giggling and having fun - nothing to report to DCFS - but come on, lady, we're all trying to get out of here in a timely, organized manner. Stay focused.
  

I'll admit, the barrel racing (I think that's what its called - the one where the babes ride their horses really fast in tight circles around three barrels) was really cool to see. But as for an overall rodeo, I think I've had my fill for this lifetime.